How to field a Quidditch team on your own
by MiiRsEnd
Summary: Hermione has been persuaded to help Harry and Ron prove who is the best Quidditch player. Their plan involves a time turner and teams of Ron and Harry so its up to her to ensure the squiggly wiggly timey wimey stuff doesn't interfere.


Authors Note:

This is a little plot bunny that I wrote whilst home in bed sick. I had recently read Hermione's Plan by ChemProf and there was a scene where Ron wanted to play a game of Quidditch with 2 teams of time turned players. I liked the idea, so here we are, a short oneoff drivel which hopefully has a beginning, middle and end.

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><p>Time travel.<p>

Even after a year of using a device to easily travel in time the concept still got confusing, fast.

Now her friends had railroaded her into breaking almost all the rules she had been given when she first got the device.

The idea was simple, never meet yourself and never affect the outcome of events you knew happened.

Harry and Ron however, had other ideas. 7 copies of themselves in the same time playing the same game of Quidditch.

She had explained to them that it wouldn't work as each copy would remember the plays and try to play them differently.

They had decided they would just "not remember" so of course Hermione had to learn the skill of oblivation. Just to top it off they wanted to keep the memories so they were going to extract them before they were oblivated.

To the boys everything seemed simple. To Hermione it screamed paradox.

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><p>She needed to prevent people from coming to the pitch, it would be hard to explain how 7 Ron's were playing 7 Harry's in a bizarre version of the 1 on 1 Quidditch match. She had warded the pitch with the strongest repulsion wards she could find.<p>

There was the broomstick fiasco as well, Ron's insistence that all 7 Harry's having faster brooms was cheating. In the end there was to be a broom swap going on, Ron's cleansweeps for Keepers and Beaters, Harry's Firebolt for the Seekers and Chasers (for this the Hermione had to bring both brooms back in time during her hop). For this she had to make sure they were marked well, she had heard of accidental time loops caused by the carrying of the wrong version of an object back in time, most times this only caused an explosion of the time turner which the person was using, often causing significant injury.

So, Hermione now stood in the boys locker room, seven quidditch shirts lined up, Seven doses of pepperup potions and a permanent marker at the ready and a clock on the wall.

They had decided that 2 hours would be enough, and 2 Hermione's would be enough. One to monitor proceedings, one to referee.

Harry number 1 and Ron number 1 arrived in the locker room, Hermione took each boy's hand and marked them with a single line. She handed each a shirt with Number 1, Ron was playing in Gryffindor colours and Harry was in Slytherin, he objected to this but Hermione liked him in green.

At 2 minute intervals a new set of boys appeared, after each arrived they got a pepperup potion, marks on their hand and broom and a shirt to wear.

After all the boys were done, the most dangerous person arrived, the second Hermione. All the boys had been oblivated before returning to the past, Hermione however was fully cognisant of the future situation.

As soon as she arrived she gave the original Hermione a piece of advice, "Confidence is key, remember, I did it to me when I was you so its not hard and it didn't break me." at this Hermione gave a slight wince, as if not believing herself. She twirled her wand in a complex motion and cast the oblivate spell on her counterpart, concentrating on removing only the last 2 hours of memories. After this she got a marker and made sure there could be no mistakes.

Coming out into the stands Hermione was amazed that the world hadn't ended yet, all 15 Harry, Ron and Hermione's were on brooms and warming up. She settled down in the stands with a thermos of coffee and some snacks and got ready to watch possibly the most unusual Quidditch match ever played, and of course record it on a pair of borrowed omnoculars.

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><p>The quaffle was flying faster than you could follow, bludgers were passed between beaters as if they knew what the other was thinking. The seekers played interference magnificently, in all it was a game which would not have looked out of place in the world championships.<p>

There were no fowls, no inter-team bickering. It was possibly the friendliest grudge match ever.

Ron turned out to be a magnificent Keeper and a very good beater whilst of course Harry was already the king of Seekers and appeared to be a dab hand at playing Chaser. Harry didn't have the strength for beating and as such was less effective at disrupting Ron's plays but this left them fairly even with Ron not having quite the same smooth passing and feinting skill when playing Chaser.

The score gyrated between teams, never quite getting to a stage where the snitch could be won without changing the outcome of the game. It appeared the best seeker would win.

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><p>***************Insert Cool Quidditch plays here****************<p>

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><p>Hermione glanced at her stopwatch, glad that the snitch had been caught before she had to stop the match. The boys swooped down from the pitch in a ruckus, each talking about their favorite play.<p>

"Did you see me make that save?" yelled a particularly loud Ron, "Hey, your a chaser, I made the save!" yelled another. "Yeah, but I'm you so I also made the save" the first reasoned.

"Boys, hurry up we have to start the memory extractions before we have to oblivate you all." Called Hermione from the bottom of the Gryffindor stand.

As the Rons and Harry's lined up Hermione checked their markings and paired them up. The pair with the seventh line were taken aside and asked to help with the processing. The rest were paired up and each one handed a vial with their name and number and a date/time etched into the side.

"Now guys, we practiced this last week so you all know how to do it. Wands to your temple, remember your last 2 hours and pull the wand away whilst imagining the memory leaving your mind."

12 strings of memory are placed into the marked vials and both Hermione's and the seventh set of boys collect them and place them in a waiting rack.

Okay, I am now going to oblivate you of the last 2 hours memories to make doubly sure we don't stuff up time, the universe and everything. "That would take 42 of us Hermione, not the paltry 16 we have!" shouted one of the Harry's, earning him an unamused glare. The quip fell flat on all the Ron's ears.

Once that was finished Hermione called the first set of boys over, double checked their number and that of their brooms matched and retrieved their Quidditch jerseys before counting down to the moment of departure where the pair looped the time turner's chain over their necks and turned 2 revolutions.

This was repeated 6 times before two Hermione's, and one set of Ron and Harry were left. At this point everyone breathed a sigh of relief and had a sit down.

"You know I didn't realise how tiring refereeing a match could be!" Hermione mused.

"Try playing 7 of them, even 6 doses of pepperup doesnt make it easy." groaned Harry, handing his broom and the time turner to the original Hermione.

"Well, time to send the other me back to referee. Then we can start cleaning up" Hermione gave herself a quick hug before starting the countdown.

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><p>Once everything was away, the wards dispelled and the trio were back in the boys dorm room as a trio again it was time to review the memories.<p>

"How do we do this Hermione?" asked Ron.

"I think we need a Pensieve" mused Hermione. "Otherwise we only have 1 copy of each memory..."

"Perhaps I can help with that" came a surprising baritone.

The trio spun about to see none other than Albus Dumbledore lounging on Neville's bed.

"You know, when I lent you that device there were rules." His tone was light and not at all accusatory. As such all three teenagers were beside themselves trying to appologise and accept sole blame.

"Now, Now. I know you thought this plan through. I also know you deliberately went against my wishes to carry it out. As such you will be punished." Three sets of eyes took great and sudden fascination with their shoes at this, hearts thumping so loud as to be almost audible.

"I have a mind to make your punishment be to never see the fruits of your labor, as Hermione has a memory of the event and an omnocular recording I would say that may require confiscation and oblivation." There was a shared intake of breath and some shocked glances but no-one was brave enough to dispute this punishment.

"I do however love a good game of Quidditch." Three head slowly look up, expressions of hope appearing.

"Perhaps the loss of the time turner and a two month Quidditch ban would suffice..." At this confused looks were shared, the time turner was being returned in 3 days and summer was 2 months long, he couldn't mean he was just going to let them away with it?

"No, that appears a little lenient." The headmaster tapped his beard trying to think of a solution. "Perhaps a name and shame approach. A joint viewing of the incident with all the teachers in my Pensieve would suffice."

"I am sure the other teachers will realise the merit of this approach, especially when pointed out how badly it would reflect on Hogwarts if news of this were to make it to the Ministry." At this he swung his legs out of bed and jumped to his feet, not betraying the slightest sign that age may have caught up with him.

As he strode to the door he looked over his shoulder "Since you have what, 32 hours? of memories in those vials, we should say 3 hours detention per week night for the first 15 weeks of School, plus all day Tomorrow. We need some time to discuss the game in its intricacies, don't we?"

He smiled as he walked out the door.

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><p>Authors Note: Okay, I'm a git but no, I am not telling you who won.<p> 


End file.
